Autobiography

Male.
(Sex not gender.)

Twenty-nine years and eight months.
(Since conception.)

Blue-eyed; brown-haired; left-handed;
Lobes on ears; can't touch nose with tongue;
Second toes longer than big toes;
Dimple;
Asymmetric smile.

White.
I mean - pinky-peachy-creamy-coloured.

Husband; father; brother; son;
Friend.
Foe?

English; British; Europ...
No -
Person; primate; mammal; living thing.

Christian.
(Sinner.)

13.77 billion years from when it all started.
Indeterminate years until it all ends.

Craig
(Me.)

Ode to Coffee

Coffee is an ugly, muddy looking thing.

<switches on kettle>

Coffee is useless at keeping its warmth.

<scoops granules into the French press>

Coffee makes you fidgety and nervous. You lose concentration.

<fills with hot water>

Coffee sucks the moisture out of you.

<depresses filter>

Coffee is acidic. It will stain your teeth. Its oils will raise your cholesterol.

<pours>

Ah ....... Coffee!