Ode to Coffee

Coffee is an ugly, muddy looking thing.

<switches on kettle>

Coffee is useless at keeping its warmth.

<scoops granules into the French press>

Coffee makes you fidgety and nervous. You lose concentration.

<fills with hot water>

Coffee sucks the moisture out of you.

<depresses filter>

Coffee is acidic. It will stain your teeth. Its oils will raise your cholesterol.

<pours>

Ah ....... Coffee!